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The Holy Elmo Bible

The Holy Elmo Bible is a story about The Holy Elmo, the god of Elmo-ism. Mrska999 wrote the bible. The bible guids followers of Elmo through life and encourages greys to ./register. Read the full book below:

Copies of the bible

The bible copy situated in the museum of Mudius.

Most copies of the Holy Elmo bible (including the original) are in possesion of the Elmo Union. However sometimes the Elmo Union gives away bibles to trusted players one of those bibles is in possesion of Mudius who keeps it in his private museum.

The Holy Elmo Bible, by MRSKA999

A new player, praising Elmo for the first time

The Holy Elmo Bible: an epic saga about The Holy Elmo


The world was full of chaos, greys ruled the land and registered people accepted it. The grey pagans destroyed whatever they found and they spread out like rats, infesting the holy lands with greed, laziness, and envy.


But there was hope: a few white players decided to pray, to pray to an unknown god who could purify their world and help those that needed it. The group prayed day and night, week after week.


An unknown force, seeing the chaos and destruction the greys had brought to the world, answered their call. He descended from heaven to earth. Every man was stunned by his magnificent red fur. Elmo had come down to earth to help those in need.


The group who prayed ran to the holy god and asked him what to do. He answered:

“Grey = Gay”

His followers knew what this meant and answered “Heil Elmo!” His followers renamed themselves to The Elmo Union.


There was peace in the world, the greys were under control and the registered people were having a blooming economy. Elmo kept teaching his followers the way of life, and numerous quotes were recorded.


“For those who refuse to /register, I have pity because they are the most stupid creatures on the planet.”

“We must only reside to the path of violence when it (grey player) refuses your help.”


“Be kind to each other and share, for greed is the biggest sin a man can commit.”

“Try to spontaneously help greys. They are too dumb to ask”

“There is only one race worse than greys, people who like pineapple on pizza.”


After feeding the hungry, helping the poor and converting the greys to white, The Holy Elmo left saying only one thing:

“Grey = Gay”


After Elmo left there was a period of wealth and prosperity, until March 23rd. Satan himself, Cookie Monster, came climbing out of the depths of hell and spread greed and envy across the lands. He manipulated the people and turned them against each other.


The registered white people could resist the temptation of joining Lord Monster’s side but the weaker grey race joined him. They were brainwashed and manipulated, their own will was gone.


After seeing this lord Elmo had to go back to the mortal world to kill Lord Monster once and for all. He came down, greeted his followers and challenged Cookie Monster to a duel. After 3 straight weeks of fighting Elmo finally beheaded the monster.


The Holy Elmo had killed the monster but his wounds were severe. His only option was to return to heaven to heal. His followers wanted to convert the greys back to sanity but they refused. They had been brainwashed and wouldn’t revert back to their old selves.

The white people had no choice but to kill them. They fled like rats and infested regions nearby spawn. The followers of Elmo, the Elmo Union in particular, wanted to finish his work and are still killing greys to this day.


Some are even making holy shrines with the largest of them being The Holy Elmo Shrine in the main base of The Elmo Union .



Notes:


  • Thanks to Nucami for copying this into word - Snakob
  • It looks signifacantly more magestic as a minecraft book, ask any member for a copy.
  • HEIL ELMO
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