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Satire Tag
Despite Moooosh being granted, severely dumb, take this page with a grain of salt.
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Mooooosh is a level 5 retard, and also a shared alt of Itzfreaks and Tarqshark. He is 90% illiterate and lives in a mushroom 10k from spawn. His favorite hobbies include pinging staff over fart noises, clainimg to be the best PvPer in spawn, and getting fucked with.

Moooooosh: Alt, or Dolt?

Upon first joining the server some time in September 2020, many players were convinced that Moosh was an alt. Being called names from tarq to nim, no one was sure whose alt he was, but his blatant newfag tropes and seemingly unlimited trust in everyone who said hi to him were enough for most players to accept that there was no way he was just a normal player. In a sense, they were right. Moooooosh currently holds the number 3 spot for biggest retard on Purity Vanilla, being beaten out only by viper69420 (AKA zen_viper40gp) in 2nd, and Lacksal in 1st.

Mushroom in Moosh's Room

Moooooosh is a retard, as previously stated (See: Introduction; Moosh: Alt or Dolt?). This quirk led him to make the strange choice of basing inside of a dark forest mushroom (which are 3x3) and then immediately posting a screenshot of his 'base' to the server discord. Naturally, his base was blown up in under a day. This angered moosh so, so badly, that he made the decision to go base in another mushroom 5000 blocks away. All was well until he sent another screenshot into the discord. Thinking he had learned from the last time, he airbrushed out all the water and kelp - leaving only terrain blocks. This was also found and blown up within a day. Well, this time, moosh had had ENOUGH. He was about to start a legacy on the server greater than any other. Thus began, the Chronicles of Moosh.

The Chronicles of Moooooosh

WARNING!!! THE FOLLOWING SAGA IS VERY EPIC AND NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.

Moosh's revenge started with him attacking the very man who destroyed his dumbass mushroom houses, EPIC_THATS_ME evading on his alt, GrandmaPepe. Moosh cleverly found Gardenia coords via insiding on an alt of his own, Shexar, and immediately griefed the shit out of EPIC's dearly loved base. Moosh used 5 shulkers of TNT and a row of skulls on this base, as well as creating 10 1000 block wide lavacasts around the area. You may think that Moosh, as a newfag, would not have access to such wealth, but his close relationship with tarqshark has allowed him to have access to whatever materials he would like. After this grief, EPIC_THATS_ME begged Moosh for forgiveness on public vc; However, Moosh was already in chad mode, and responded by playing fart noises on the music bot. EPIC_THATS_ME killed himself shortly after via car exhaust suicide, in the same car he used to run over MiningBoomBoy earlier in the month.

Moosh's New Travelling Companion

Whilst on his spree of terror and mayhem, Moosh ran into a player on the overworld -Z highway. About 30k blocks out, Moosh found the well-know troublemaker Caudimorda standing in the middle of the highway. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS POINT!" Caudi typed in chat. Moosh asked him why, as the had business with the denizens of NSO that could not wait. This surprised Caudi as he had actually been employed to guard NSO's base (this was their solution for basing on axis less than 50k blocks from spawn). However, sensing Moosh's alpha chad energy, and realising that he had strayed from his roots, Caudi asked Moosh if he could become his side-kick - forever out of the limelight, but helping Moosh achieve his destiny. Moosh humbly accepted, and continued on his way.

NSO is NSOver party

Moosh made his way to NSO's base, which consisted for 3 dirt huts and a 'castle' which was actually just another dirt hut but 5 blocks wider. He took out his gshovel and held it down for 3 seconds, and NSO's base was no more. YeahItsRico had a breakdown immediately - he had worked on one of those huts for the last 2 months and had finally placed the 16th and final dirt block. YeahItsJdog followed not long after, consolling Rico whilst holding back the tears. They both left the server in anguish, and killed themselves irl in a suicide pact where they both shot each other at the same time. Rico's suicide note read "Moooooosh did this. Moooooosh is evil incarnate. Do not trust him. Lock him up if you can catch him. God help us all."

Homophobia

After finding out that GLM stands for Glaceon Likes Men, Moooooosh could not stand to see the faction alive any longer. Once a gay man himself, Moooooosh's days on purity had turned him into a reowned homophobe, and he could not betray himself and allow the cult to exist any longer. Taking his friend Caudi (now scarred due to having partial responsibility for the deaths for two teenage boys), they rocked up to the base that they found using block rotations on half of a single wool block shared by GlaceonGuy. Moooooosh erected massive, built limit sized signs made of hacked bedrock that read "Gay is not okay" before proceeding to blow the entire base down to bedrock and leaving nothing except his signs. GlaceonGuy had a public breakdown on vc as he was online to witness this event. He tried to get Rhonor to console him, but Rhonor had to take a phone call for a 500k investment for his job at Goldman Sachs. GlaceonGuy, in a fit of unparalleld rage, grabbed a kitchen knife and butchered himself with it, including a carving on his face which read "FUCK MOOSH".

The Shark in Hot Water

Moooooosh was finally ready to pay back the man who gave him so much. In an effort to be the ultimate griefer, Mooooosh went to tarq's base, bedtrapped him, then proceeded to shit on him for 12 hours straight. Tarq's bed would eventually become blocks by the layers of molten feces and tarq would be teleported back to spawn, as Mooooosh TNT'd tarq's base down. The pair were extremely close friends - Moosh learned everything he knows from tarq, so tarq was crushed. Having never felt a betrayl like this before, tarq decided to take the easy way out, and hanged himself the next day, leaving a note detailing his unrequited love for Moosh.

The End of Moooooosh

Unfortunately, all good stories have a shitty ending. This one does too. Although Moosh is a purity legend, he is also still, as mentioned before (See: Introduction; Moosh: Alt or Dolt?; Mushroom in Moosh's Room), a massive retard. As such, he decided to ESP near spawn and open a bait chest. Tanking the 7 day ban, he logged back in just to do the same thing again with a chest 10 blocks away. After crying in discord about it for 4 days solid without sleeping, Moosh retired back to Hypixel where the spends his days playing bed wars and getting banned on an alt a day for toxicity.

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