| Satirical Content! |
|---|
| The following content is predominantly satirical and should be taken with a grain of salt. |
GlaceonGuy
GlaceonGuy is a British monarchist and advocate for the dissolution of Ireland and its integration into England as several minor, insignificant counties. He joined Purity Vanilla to find compatriots in his struggle to crown Elizabeth II queen of former Ireland while being reamed up the butthole by ladyboys. His sheep wife "Irish Cumdump" passed away at the hands of a lunatic during a grief on Thot Patrol on 8/31/2020.
GLM and early friendships
GlaceonGuy began under the alias koolj3k, an account left to him by a former ladyboy acquaintance who had also left him anal herpes.He rose to prominence as the primary founding member of GLM (GreatBritain Lives, Manchester) who wasn't a fag larper roleplaying as a newfag.
Early on, he formed friendships with GriefyoudotEXE and RobertDonald based upon their exposure of his GLM cofounder, DrRowan, as a larper who clearly wasn't a newfag as anyone who wasn't a grey could check with one command. Nevertheless, he found DrRowan's devotion to the cause of Great Britain's annexation and dissolution of the insignificant island of Ireland to be inspiring, and continued with GLM despite his cofounder's larping gayness and his secret unrequited loves for GriefyoudotEXE and RobertDonald.
Destruction of Crusaders, Mercury, and Legion (TBD)
GlaceonGuy found his skills infiltrating Irish nationalists and convincing them to swear fealty to the Queen an invaluable asset in destroying anti-Elizabeth pro-Irish factions within the Purity Vanilla Server. He quickly infiltrated the Crusaders by posing as an attractive ladyboy with a large penis, something all members of the Crusaders ardently desired to receive AIDS from, and learned the location of all their bases. GLM patiently destroyed these bases, one by one, and decorated them with the English flag to show the supremacy of GlaceonGuy's beloved monarch.
Mercury fell to a similar attack. This time, GlaceonGuy posed as a small boy, the potential mate idealized by all of Mercury's members. Soon, their bases fell as well, decorated with statues of Queen Elizabeth with a giant strap-on, one of GlaceonGuy's prominent sexual fantasies. This experience inspired several Mercury members to swear off sexual relations with young boys and promise to marry actual, genitals-at-birth women, making heartfelt, tearful apologies for their early perversion in the middle of the griefed-base tour videos they made that no one bothered to watch.
GlaceonGuy's infiltration method of Legion has not yet been revealed, but has already borne the fruit of the base destruction as well as the revelation of the quantity and precise nature of the hacks used by all of Legion's myriad members.
Bard, Historian, and Biographer
GlaceonGuy's skill as a pro-England propagandist led to his chronicling of much of Purity Vanilla's history. After writing a popular extended treatise on the activities of GLM, he wrote incredible biographies of his closest friends and secret crushes, griefyoudotEXE and RobertDonald. These writings in particular were acclaimed as brilliant and epic.
Future Plans
GlaceonGuy continues to seek an attractive ladyboy to give him AIDS via semen-to-rectum transmission. He continues to write biographies for admirable players, with biographies to come for ItzFreaks, Boog, and other luminaries. He also is working on three different multipart historical series: The Decline and Fall of Crusaders, The Decline and Fall of Mercury, and the forthcoming epic, The Hacking, Decline, and Fall of Legion.