User:Bigwomp/The Mushroom State

The Mushroom King
'''FOUNDED UNDER THE RULE OF THE MUSHROOM KING IN AUGUST OR JUNE 2019, THE MUSHROOM STATE IS A COMPLEX HEIRARCHY OF CITY STATES ACROSS THE SERVER. '''

Quiet in his realm, the Mushroom King tempers against all other factions, all greys, silvers, whites, golds, plats and above. Under his iron thumb are the Frank City Council orchestrated by bigwomp and GAIBHCO, supplier of shulkers brimming with diamond, gold and godsets, all in the name of his king.

While the King keeps to himself, he is final say over aesthetics - preferring to build from any section of his beloved mushrooms, and leaving mycelium wherever he stands. His great 64x64 room of player heads watch lidlessly from below their stained glass ceiling, endlessly and hopelessly.

The Mushroom States have fully committed to absolute aggression towards other founding lands, and due to conflicts between Councilman bigwomp and The Empire's Itzfreaks, the Mushroom State is currently deploying double agents to work within their walls, which has resulted in the head of Itzfreaks for bigwomp's wall.

Gaibh1998 of GAIBHCO can be regularly found giving full godsets and crystals to greynames at spawn as part of the Mushroom State Public Relations Enactment, pushed into policy by bigwomp. While recruiting is private and small, the King plans to move his vassals into one of his fourteen fully operational and ungriefed states and allow for independent scouting by 2027.

States
Stinkhorn State (CURRENT LOCATION)


 * Stinkhorn Shanty Town
 * The industrial quarter
 * WheresMyAccount's WheresMyHouse
 * GaibhCo Fishery
 * The Mushroom Hold
 * The Mushroom Tower
 * Villagertown

Mycelitown
 * The Honk Honk Forest
 * Coom Elevator
 * The Go-Kill-Yourself Machine (griefed)
 * Womp farm
 * The Cock Carousel

Frank City (griefed)
 * Gael's humble house
 * The Great Architect's Public Residence
 * The Great Architect's Mud ShacK
 * The Great Architect's Cathedral
 * The Chamber of Judgement (griefed)
 * GaibhCo Observatory (griefed)
 * Frank City Mines
 * Frank City Tower
 * Frank City EXP Bank (griefed)
 * The Mushroom Keep (griefed)
 * The Great Womp in the Sky (unfinished)
 * The Mushroom armoury (griefed)

Lard Beyond
 * Hong Kong Holodomor
 * Bigwomp's bee farm
 * The Architect's Manor
 * Facebook Doxx List
 * The King's Councilroom
 * The Mushroom Bank
 * The Mushroom Chamber

Lego Duplo State
 * The staircase from Joker 2019 (WheresMyAccount)
 * Replica of Rapture (Bioshock, Mushroomking)
 * Replica of Huawei Phone (Bigwomp)
 * Replica of Dublin (Gaibh1998 & Gaeloglach)

Rushroom Risotto
 * GaibhCo Headquarters (unlooted, too far to bother loot)
 * Bigwomp's Big House
 * The Mushroom Cock
 * The Mushroom Cock (bigger)
 * The Mushroom Stem (another cock but different mat)

However...

THERE ARE RELICS OF THE OLD MUSHROOM KEEPS TODAY, SURROUNDING THE SPAWN REGION, FOR PASSERSBY TO FIND NIGHTLY SHELTER UNDER THE KING'S GRACE.

The Fall of Frank City
The documentation of the fall of Frank City has been documented extensively by Gaibh1998 and WheresMyAccount. This entire state fell into rambles and shambles sometime after WheresMyAccount filled the GaibhCo Observatory and his home with dirt, and Gaibh1998 retaliated by burning Bigwomp's bridge to The Grand Architect's Cathedral. There are questions as to whether Gaibh of WheresMyAccount started the grief and aggression, but due to Gaibh1998's status in the kingdom as a known "Lite Griefer," the King, GaelOglach and Bigwomp furiously attacked Gaibh until his heads flooded the streets and his secret bedroom was found. He was banished to spawn and to live in the ruins of Frank City for two days with no friends irl or online, until he was welcomed to Stinkhorn State under the new No Annoying Bigwomp doctrine.

WheresMyAccount's Account: State of the Shroomion

''Mr. Oglach, FCC CEO Bigwomp, members of Coomgress, distinguished guests, fellow citizens, as we gather tonight, our nation is at war, our economy is in recession and the civilized world faces unprecedented dangers. Yet the State of our Shroomion has never been stronger.''

''We last met in an hour of shock and suffering. In four short months, our nation has comforted the victims, begun to build a new Mushroom Keep and Spider Spawner, rallied a great coalition, captured, arrested and rid the world of thousands of griefers, destroyed Gaibh-Co’s terrorist training camps, saved a people from starvation and freed a country from brutal oppression.''

''The Mushroom Kingdom flag flies again over our embassy at X 2389/ Y 73.00/ Z -40699. Terrorists who once occupied the Mushroom Keep now occupy cells at spawn.''

''And terrorist leaders who urged followers to sacrifice their lives are running for their own.''

''The Mushroom Kingdom and Gaibh-Co are now allies against terror. We will be partners in rebuilding that country. And this evening we welcomed the distinguished interim leader of a liberated Gaibh-Co: Gaibh1996.''

''The last time we met in this chamber, the cows and bees of the Mushroom Keep were captives in their own homes, forbidden from working or going to school.''

''Today cows are free, and are part of Gaibh-Co's new government. And we welcome the new minister of cow affairs, Dr. Moo.''

''Our progress is a tribute to the spirit of the Mushroom people, to the resolve of our coalition and to the might of the Mushroom Kingdom military.''

''When I called our troops into action, I did so with complete confidence in their courage and skill. And tonight, thanks to them, we are winning the war on griefing.''

''The men and women of our armed forces have delivered a message now clear to every enemy of the Mushroom Kingdom: Even 7,000 blocks away, across oceans and netherrealms, on mountaintops and in caves you will not escape the justice of this nation.''

''For many Shroomians, these four weeks have brought sorrow and pain that will never completely go away. Every day a retired Frank City Councilman returns to the Mushroom Keep to feel closer to his two bees who died there.''

''At a memorial in the Frank City Mines, a little boy left a saddle with a note for his lost horse: "Dear Glitterhoof, please take this to Minecraft Heaven. I don't want to ride horses until I can ride with you again someday."''

''Last month, at the grave of his puppy, Mushy, a Mushroom officer and good boy who died in the Battle for Mushroom Keep, Mushroom_King said these words of farewell: "Semper fi, my love."''

Mushroom_King is with I tonight.

''I, Mushroom_King, assure you and all who have lost a loved one that our cause is just, and our country will never forget the debt we owe Mushy and all who gave their lives for freedom.''

''Our cause is just, and it continues. Our discoveries in Gaibh-Co confirmed our worst fears and showed us the true scope of the task ahead. We have seen the depth of our enemies' hatred in videos where they laugh about the loss of precious time building stuff.''

''And the depth of their hatred is equalled by the madness of the destruction they design. We have found diagrams of Shroomian nuclear tree plants and public mine facilities, detailed instructions for making lava weapons, surveillance maps of Shroomian cities, and thorough descriptions of landmarks in the Mushroom Kingdom and throughout the world.''

''What we have found in Gaibh-Co confirms that, far from ending there, our war against terror is only beginning. Most of the 19 men who hijacked planes on September the 11th were trained in Gaibh-Co camps. And so were tens of thousands of others. Thousands of dangerous griefers, schooled in the methods of trolling, often supported by outlaw regimes, are now spread throughout the world like ticking meme bombs, set to go off without warning.''

''Thanks to the work of our law enforcement officials and coalition partners, hundreds of terrorists have been arrested, yet tens of thousands of trained griefers are still at large. These enemies view the entire world as a battlefield, and we must pursue them wherever they are.''

''So long as training camps operate, so long as nations harbor terrorists, freedom is at risk and The Mushroom Kingdom and our allies must not, and will not, allow it. Our nation...''

''Our nation will continue to be steadfast, and patient and persistent in the pursuit of two great objectives. First, we will shut down terrorist camps, disrupt griefing plans and bring trolls to justice.''

''And second, we must prevent the griefers and regimes who seek chemical, biological or nuclear weapons from threatening The Mushroom Kingdom and the whole server.''

''Our military has put the griefing training camps of Gaibh-Co out of business, yet camps still exist in at least a dozen countries. A terrorist underworld -- including groups like The Order of Eichmann, Daddy Satan’s Naughty Boys, Gaibhlamic Jihadis and the Doctor Dan Destroyers -- operate in remote jungles and deserts biomes, and hide in the centers of large cities.''

''While the most visible military action is in Gaibh-Co, The Mushroom Kingdom is acting elsewhere.''

''We now have troops in the Stinkhorm helping to train that country's armed forces to go after griefing cells that have executed a Shroomian and still hold hostages.''

''Our soldiers, working with the Purity Vanilla government, seized griefers who were plotting to bomb our Chamber of Judgement.''

''Our Navy is patrolling the coast of the Mushroom biome to block the shipment of weapons and the establishment of terrorist camps in Eichmannia.''

''My hope is that all nations will heed our call and eliminate the terrorist parasites who threaten their countries and our own.''

''Many nations are acting forcefully. The FCC is now cracking down on terror, and I admire the strong leadership of CEO Bigwomp.''

''But some governments will be timid in the face of terror. And make no mistake about it: If they do not act, The Mushroom Kingdom will.''

''Our second goal is to prevent regimes that sponsor griefing from threatening The Mushroom Kingdom or our friends and allies with weapons of mass destruction.''

''Some of these regimes have been pretty quiet since September 11, but we know their true nature. North Spawn is a regime arming with missiles and weapons of mass destruction, while starving its citizens.''

''Daddy Satan aggressively pursues these weapons and exports terror, while an unelected few repress the Satanian people's hope for freedom.''

''Doctor Dan continues to flaunt its hostility toward The Mushroom Kingdom and to support terror. The Danni regime has plotted to develop anthrax and nerve gas and nuclear weapons for over a week.''

''This is a regime that has already used poison gas to murder thousands of villagers, leaving the bodies of villagers huddled over their workstations. This is a regime that agreed to international 1v1s then kicked out the 1v1er. This is a regime that has something to hide from the civilized world.''

''States like these, and their terrorist allies, constitute a Cube of Evil, arming to threaten the peace of the world. By seeking weapons of meme destruction, these regimes pose a grave and growing danger. They could provide these arms to grieferss, giving them the means to match their hatred. They could attack our allies or attempt to blackmail The Mushroom Kingdom. In any of these cases, the price of indifference would be catastrophic.''

''We will work closely with our coalition to deny griefers and their state sponsors the materials, technology and expertise to make and deliver weapons of meme destruction.''

''We will develop and deploy effective Blast Protection V defenses to protect The Mushroom Kingdom and our allies from sudden attack.''

''And all nations should know: The Mushroom Kingdom will do what is necessary to ensure our nation's security.''

''We'll be deliberate, yet time is not on our side. I will not wait on events while dangers gather. I will not stand by as peril draws closer and closer. The United States of The Mushroom Kingdom will not permit the world's most dangerous regimes to threaten us with the world's most destructive weapons.''

''Our war on terror is well begun, but it is only begun. This campaign may not be finished on our watch, yet it must be and it will be waged on our watch.''

''We can't stop short. If we stopped now, leaving troll camps intact and griefer states unchecked, our sense of security would be false and temporary. History has called The Mushroom Kingdom and our allies to action, and it is both our responsibility and our privilege to fight freedom's fight.''

''Our first priority must always be the security of our nation, and that will be reflected in the budget I send to Coomgress. My budget supports three great goals for The Mushroom Kingdom: We will win this war, we will protect our homeland, and we will revive our economy.''

''September 11 brought out the best in The Mushroom Kingdom and the best in this Coomgress, and I join the Shroomian people in applauding your unity and resolve.''

''Now Shroomians deserve to have this same spirit directed toward addressing problems here at home.''

''I am a proud member of my party. Yet as we act to win the war, protect our people and create jobs in The Mushroom Kingdom, we must act first and foremost not as Cuckservatives, not as Libtards, but as Shroomians.''

''It costs a lot to fight this war. We have spent more than a billion blocks of dirt a month -- over $1 a day -- and we must be prepared for future operations. Gaibh-Co proved that expensive precision weapons defeat the enemy and spare innocent lives, and we need more of them. We need to replace aging horsecraft and make our military more agile to put our troops anywhere in the world quickly and safely.''

''Our men and women in uniform deserve the most enchanted weapons, the best equipment and the best training and they also deserve another hi-five.''

''My budget includes the largest increase in defense spending in two decades, because while the price of freedom and security is high, it is never too high. Whatever it costs to defend our country, we will pay.''

''The next priority of my budget is to do everything possible to protect our citizens and strengthen our nation against the ongoing threat of another attack.''

''Time and distance from the events of September the 11th will not make us safer unless we act on its lessons. The Mushroom Kingdom is no longer protected by vast oceans. We are protected from attack only by vigorous action abroad and increased vigilance at home.''

''My budget nearly doubles funding for a sustained strategy of shroomland security, focused on four key areas: biometerrorism, emergency response, server and queue security, and improved intelligence.''

''We will develop vaccines to fight hunger and other deadly afflictions. We'll increase funding to help states and communities train and equip our heroic iron golems and firefighters.''

''We will improve intelligence collection and voice chat, expand patrols at our borders, strengthen the security of horse travel, and use technology to track the arrivals and departures of Gaibh1996 to PurityVanilla.xyz.''

''Shroomland security will make The Mushroom Kingdom not only stronger but in many ways better. Knowledge gained from biometerrorism research will improve public health. Stronger iron golems and fire departments will mean safer tree farms.''

''Stricter queue enforcement will help combat noobs.''

''And as government works to better secure our shroomland, The Mushroom Kingdom will continue to depend on the eyes and ears of alert gamers.''

''A few days before Craftmas, a server mod spotted a gamer making a lag machine. The mod and gamers quickly subdued the man, who had been trained by Gaibh-Co and was armed with pistons. The people on that server were alert, and as a result likely saved nearly 200 minutes of lag. And tonight we welcome and thank server mods Boone and Mian.''

''Once we have funded our national security and our Shroomland security, the final great priority of my budget is economic security for the Shroomian people.''

''To achieve these great national objectives -- to win the war, protect the shroomland and revitalize our economy -- our budget will run a deficit that will be small and short term so long as Coomgress restrains spending and acts in a fiscally responsible way.''

''We have clear priorities and we must act at home with the same purpose and resolve we have shown overseas. We will prevail in the war, and we will defeat this recession.''

''Shroomians who have lost their inventory need our help, and I support extending unemployment benefits and direct assistance for health care coverage.''

''Yet Shroomian workers want more than unemployment checks. They want a steady server connection.''

''When The Mushroom Kingdom works, The Mushroom Kingdom prospers, so my economic security plan can be summed up in one word: farms.''

''Good farms begin with good tutorials, and here we've made a fine start.''

''Cuckservatives and Libtards worked together to achieve historic education reform so that no crafter is left behind.''

I was proud to work with members of both parties, Chairman Bigwomp and Coomgressman Gaeloglach...

... Senator WhereMyAccount.

''And I was so proud of our work I even had nice things to say about my friend Ogee_96.''

''I know the folks at the Frank City Public Library couldn't believe I'd say such a thing. But our work on this bill shows what is possible if we set aside posturing and focus on results.''

''There's more to do. We need to prepare our children to mine and succeed in creative with improved tutorials and early childhood development programs.''

''We must upgrade our YouTuber colleges and streamer training and launch a major recruiting drive with a great goal for The Mushroom Kingdom: a quality YouTuber in every video.''

''Good farms also depend on reliable and affordable energy. This Coomgress must act to encourage conservation, promote technology, build infrastructure, and it must act to increase energy production at home so The Mushroom Kingdom is less dependent on foreign coal.''

''Good farms depend on expanded trade. Selling into new markets creates new farms, so I ask Coomgress to finally approve villager promotion authority.''

''On these two key issues, trade and energy, the House of Baby Coomers has acted to create farms and I urge the Council to pass this legislation.''

''Good farms depend on sound tax policy. Last year, some in this hall thought my peepee was too small, some thought it was too big.''

''But when those pics arrived in the mail, most Shroomians thought my peepee was just about right.''

''Coomgress listened to the people and responded by reducing coom rates, doubling the villager credit and ending the death tax. For the sake of long-term growth, and to help Shroomians plan for the future, let's make these tax cuts permanent.''

''The way out of this recession, the way to create farms, is to grow the economy by encouraging investment in hoppers and furnaces, and by speeding up afk relief so people have more time to spend.''

''For the sake of Shroomian workers, let's pass a stimulus package.''

''Good farms must be the aim of welfare reform. As we reauthorize these important reforms, we must always remember: The goal is to reduce dependency on the Frank City Council and offer every Shroomian the dignity of a farm.''

''Shroomians know economic security can vanish in an instant without hidden beds. I ask Coomgress to join me this year to enact a gamers’ bill of rights...''

... to give uninsured gamers credits to help buy diamond armor,...

... to approve an historic increase in spending for mods' health...

''... and to give donators a sound and modern connection that includes coverage for monster farms.''

''A good farms -- a good farm should lead to security in gaming. I ask Coomgress to enact new safeguards for lvl30(exp) and pension plans.''

''Gamers who have worked hard and saved all their exp should not have to risk losing everything if their network connection fails.''

''Through stricter moderating standards and tougher disclosure requirements, corporate Mushroom Kingdom must be made more accountable to gamers and donators and held to the highest standards of conduct.''

''Disconnection security also depends upon keeping the commitments of Queue Security, and we will. We must make Queue Security financially stable and allow personal retirement accounts in before younger noobs who choose them.''

Memers, you and I will work together in the months ahead on other issues: productive spawner policy...

... a cleaner biome...

''... broader home ownership, especially among the homeless...''

''... and ways to encourage the good work of charities and faith- based groups.''

''I ask you to join me on these important domestic issues in the same spirit of cooperation we have applied to our war against grieferism.''

''During these last few months, I've been humbled and privileged to see the true character of this country in a time of testing. Our enemies believed The Mushroom Kingdom was weak and materialistic, that we would splinter in fear and selfishness. They were as wrong as they are evil.''

''The Shroomian people have responded magnificently, with courage and compassion, strength and resolve. As I have met the heroes, hugged the families and looked into the tired faces of gamers, I have stood in awe of the Shroomian people.''

And I hope you will join me in expressing thanks to one Shroomian for the strength and calm and comfort he brings to our nation in crisis: our first man, Pickle Rick.

''None of us would ever wish the evil that was done on September the 11th, yet after The Mushroom Kingdom was griefed, it was as if our entire country looked into a mirror and saw our better selves. We were reminded that we are citizens with obligations to each other, to our country, and to history. We began to think less of the blocks we can accumulate, and more about the good we can do.''

''For too long our culture has said, "If it feels good, do it." Now The Mushroom Kingdom is embracing a new ethic and a new creed: "Let's roll."''

''In the sacrifice of gamers, the fierce brotherhood of firefighters, and the bravery and generosity of ordinary Minecrafters, we have glimpsed what a new culture of responsibility could look like. We want to be a nation that serves goals larger than self. We have been offered a unique opportunity, and we must not let this moment pass.''

''My call tonight is for every Shroomian to commit at least two years -- 4,000 hours -- over the rest of your lifetime to the service of the Mushroom_King and your nation.''

''Many are already serving, and I thank you. If you aren't sure how to help, I've got a good place to start. To sustain and extend the best that has emerged in The Mushroom Kingdom, I invite you to join the new MK Freedom Corps. The Freedom Corps will focus on three areas of need: responding in case of crisis at home, rebuilding our communities, and extending Shroomian compassion throughout the world.''

''One purpose of the MK Freedom Corps will be Shroomland security. The Mushroom Kingdom needs retired chefs who can be mobilized in major emergencies, volunteers to help gamers and fire departments, transportation and utility workers well trained in spotting griefers.''

''Our country also needs villagers working to rebuild our communities. We need streamers to love children, especially children whose parents aren’t on Minecraft. And we need more talented YouTubers in troubled schools.''

''MK Freedom Corps will expand and improve the good efforts of MushiCorps and Shroom Corps to recruit more than 200,000 new volunteers.''

''And The Mushroom Kingdom needs citizens to extend the compassion of our country to every part of the world, so we will renew the promise of the Meme Corps, double its volunteers over the next five years...''

... and ask it to join a new effort to encourage development and education and opportunity in the Gaibhlamic world.

''This time of adversity offers a unique moment of opportunity, a moment we must seize to change our culture. Through the gathering momentum of millions of acts of service and decency and kindness, I know we can overcome evil with greater good.''

''And we have a great opportunity during this time of war to lead the world toward the values that will bring lasting peace. All gamers and streamers, in all societies, want their children to be educated and live free from griefing and trolling.''

''No people on PurityVanilla yearn to be oppressed or aspire to servitude or eagerly await the midnight knock of the mushroom police.''

''If anyone doubts this, let them look to Gaibh-Co, where the Gaibhlamic street greeted the fall of tyranny with song and celebration. Let the skeptics look to Gaibhlam’s own rich history, with its centuries of learning and tolerance and progress.''

''The Mushroom Kingdom will lead by defending liberty and justice because they are right and true and unchanging for all people everywhere.''

''No nation owns these aspirations, and no nation is exempt from them. We have no intention of imposing our culture, but The Mushroom Kingdom will always stand firm for the non-negotiable demands of gamer dignity: the rules of the server, no limits on the power of the state, no respect for women, private property, free speech, equal justice and religious intolerance.''

''The Mushroom Kingdom will take the side of brave men and women who advocate these values around the world -- including the Gaibhlamic world -- because we have a greater objective than eliminating threats and containing resentment.''

''We seek a just and peaceful biome beyond the war on terror.''

''In this moment of opportunity, a common danger is erasing old rivalries. The Mushroom Kingdom is working with the FCC, and Gaeloglach and WhereMyAccount in ways we never have before to achieve peace and prosperity. ''

''In every region, free markets and free trade and free societies are proving their power to lift lives. ''

''Together with friends and allies from The Mushroom Keep to Stinkhorn, and Spawn to the Netherrealm, we will demonstrate that the forces of terror cannot stop the momentum of freedom.''

''The last time I spoke here, I expressed the hope that life would return to normal.''

''In some ways it has. In others it never will.''

''Those of us who have lived through these challenging times have been changed by them. We've come to know truths that we will never question: Griefing is real, and it must be opposed.''

Beyond all differences of race or creed, we are one biome, mourning together and facing danger together.

''Deep in the Shroomian character there is honor, and it is stronger than cynicism. And many have discovered again that even in tragedy -- especially in tragedy – Pickle Rick is near.''

''In a single instant, we realized that this will be a decisive decade in the history of liberty; that we have been called to a unique role in human events. Rarely has the world faced a choice more clear or consequential.''

''Our enemies send other people's bees on missions of suicide and murder. They embrace tyranny and death as a cause and a creed. We stand for a different choice, made long ago, on the day of our founding. We affirm it again today. We choose freedom and the dignity of every life.''

''Steadfast in our purpose, we now press on. We have known freedom's price. We have shown freedom's power. And in this great conflict, my fellow Shroomians, we will see freedom's victory.''

Thank you all and may Pickle Rick bless.