Dirty Deeds On-Demand

Dirty Deeds On-Demand is a mercenary faction founded by dingle_diff, MinerScargill, and GuardianEvan. Despite claiming to be the finest organized hit man crew, D2O-D has yet to receive any business, partly due to their being a bunch of idiot greys, and also partly due to Diff's lack of social aptitude.

Origins
D20-D was founded initially by dingle_diff when he first joined on July 29, 2019. After grouping with some Germanophiles who he planned on betraying at a later date, Diff aided them in building a grand village less than 2 thousand blocks out from spawn made of acacia wood and cobblestone. Berlin lasted less than a day, and when Diff logged on on the 30th of July he found Berlin knocked down and replaced by an infinitely shittier town named Moscow. Diff built a secret underwater base 20 blocks away from Moscow and thought he was really clever until Haloman123 (I think that was his name) found it and Diff decided to migrate north (all this took place in less than a day). By the 1st of August Diff had made yet another shitty underground base (this time 110 blocks north of Moscow) and began to grind for diamonds and shit. On August 2nd Diff tasted the harsh reality of Minecraft Anarchy for the first time when he was brutally murdered without cause and lost all his precious diamond tools and iron armor. He whined about it in chat a bit and his aggressor felt compelled to return to him his valuables.

The Expansion of the Gang
Later that day (2nd August) Diff managed to convince his friends MinerScargill and GuardianEvan to log on to the server. Less than 2 minutes after locating them in spawn the trio was slain by Tesco03PMealDeal. Twice. Eventually the group returned to Diff's base after dicking around in spawn and reequipped. D20-D spent the rest of the day expanding their underground base with state of the art technology such as a nether portal and an unnecessary amount of furnaces.

D20-D's Great Migration
After an anonymous raid of their base 2 weeks later GuardianEvan made the decision to flee their tiny hovel and so Diff set out ahead of the others to find a suitable location to build. He managed to travel 10k blocks and set up yet another underground base. But this time he got lost in a cave and forgot the coordinates and spent the next hour trying to find his rudimentary base. He got lost and yelled at by his partners in crime and decided to put his items in a chest and /suicide, planning to respawn in his new base. However, he had never slept in the bed there and was sent back over 300000000 blocks away to spawn.

The Construction of the Needle
After returning to the chest containing his gear, Diff and the rest of D20-D began constructing a massive spire modeled after the Seattle Space Needle to assert their dominance over the land. The construction lasted two days and involved many life ending falls off the side of the tower. Eventually, the building was finished, and Diff dubbed it the Nefarious Needle of Never-do-Well in order to keep up the trend of awful alliteration. The finished product looked nothing like the Space Needle, instead of appearing like an overturned Birthday Candle or a UFO docked on a giant penis, but nevertheless Diff was proud of his creation.

Goals & Plans
D2O-D plan to become the server's most powerful organized paramilitary force for hire, but as mentioned before, they are incredibly incompetent and lack the resources to fight and destroy effectively. Nevertheless, they remain hopeful that somebody somewhere will choose them to do their dirty work. A year on, they still have not managed to get hired.